You want me on your side. Trust me.

Last night I dreamed once more of the coming zombie apocalypse. I pulled out every move I know and managed to vanquish maybe twenty zombies, including a zombie tiger. I was unstoppable. I also learned that you will need the following items attached to your keychain in order to survive when it happens in veritas:

1. Pepper Spray
2. A flashlight
3. A blunt metal object to inflict trauma
4. A decent sized blade